Only Have to Wait
by jacyevans
Summary: Hermione makes a wish on her birthday that Harry will realize that she is still in love with him. What happens when Sirius decides to play matchmaker and make her wish come true? - Songfic to "Love Ridden" by Fiona Apple


A/N: This is another of my H/Hr songfics. Hope you like it. It's not one of my better ones, but, you know - the idea was there, so I wrote it. Hope you like it.  
  
Disclaimer: I own neither the song nor the characters. The song is "Love Ridden" by Fiona Apple, and the characters are the property of the goddess of all things Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling.  
  
~* Only Have to Wait *~  
  
Love ridden I've looked at you  
  
With the focus I give to my birthday candles  
  
I wished on the lidded blue flame  
  
Under your brow  
  
And baby I wished for you.  
  
"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Hermione. Happy birthday to you."  
  
Hermione was met by a rigorous round of applause.  
  
"Make a wish 'Mione!" Ron told her happily.  
  
Hermione bit her lip. "Hmm...what do I wish for?" She thought for a second and glanced around the room trying to get her head straight when here eyes grazed over Harry. She smiled.  
  
"'Mione, you're going to burn the cake!" Ron complained.  
  
Hermione laughed, closed her eyes, and made her wish. 'I wish that Harry would open his eyes and see what's right in front of him.' She blew out all nineteen candles in one shot. There was more applause.  
  
"Cut the cake! I'm hungry!" Ron said.  
  
"You're always hungry." Hermione and Harry said together.  
  
Ron glared. "Shut up and cut the cake."  
  
Hermione giggled and made the first cut.  
  
"Hermione." Hermione turned and was pulled into a massive hug from Sirius. "Sirius, I can't breathe."  
  
Sirius laughed and mumbled, "Come out onto the balcony. I need to talk to you."  
  
Hermione glanced at him, and odd look on her face, but nodded.  
  
Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed  
  
And I wanna crawl in with you  
  
But I cry instead.  
  
Hermione made her way out onto the balcony before Sirius did. She had a clear view of the street below, where she saw two couples walking, holding hands. She sighed. "I wonder if my wish will come true." She said softly.  
  
"What was your wish?"  
  
Hermione jumped as Sirius walked out onto the balcony and stood across from her. He leaned onto the railing. "What did you wish for?" he repeated.  
  
"That someone would open his eyes and realize what's right in front of him is what he's been looking for."  
  
"This person wouldn't happen to be Harry, would it?"  
  
Hermione blinked. "Excuse me?"  
  
"Ah, so it is. Hermione, I've known you as long as I've known Harry, since you were both thirteen. You had that same love sick look in your eyes tonight as you did in the Shrieking Shack with me and Lupin in your Third Year. You love him."  
  
Hermione didn't deny it. But she didn't say anything else either. She didn't tell Sirius about the many times she had stood in the doorway of Harry's room, just down the hall from her own, and watched him sleep. She didn't tell Sirius how much she just wanted to crawl in with him and hold him close. But she never did. She just made her way back to her room and cried, never saying a word.  
  
"Yes. I do."  
  
I want your warmth  
  
But it will only make me colder  
  
When it's over  
  
So I can't tonight, baby.  
  
"So why haven't you told him yet?"  
  
"I don't know Sirius. I - I want to be with him so much. But I'm scared."  
  
"Scared? Scared of what?"  
  
Hermione played with the edge of her sleeve. "That if we get together, and then break up, we won't be friends anymore. That things will be so awkward between us that even Ron will be affected. I just - " Hermione took a frustrated breath. "I just don't want us to end up on bad terms. You don't know how many times I've been so close to telling him that the words just about tumbled out of my mouth. But every time, I tell myself, 'Not tonight. Not tonight. I can't tonight.' Or, 'Maybe he'll tell me instead of me having to tell him.' But it hasn't happened. It never does."  
  
No, not 'baby' anymore  
  
If I need you I'll just use your simple name  
  
Only kisses on the cheek from now on  
  
And in a little while we'll only have to wave.  
  
Hermione didn't realize she had begun to cry. Sirius went to put his hand on her shoulder, but she shook him off as Harry walked out.  
  
"Hermione, your mother is..." Harry's voice trailed off when he saw Hermione's tear stained face. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yes. I'm fine." Hermione bit her lip. "I'll see you later Sirius." She walked back into the house.  
  
"Ok, what just happened here Sirius?"  
  
Sirius laughed silently and shook his head. "You're as brain dead as your father was when Lily walked across his path."  
  
"What?"  
  
Sirius hit Harry in the back of the head. "She loves you!"  
  
Harry stared blankly.  
  
"Yeah." Sirius sighed. "You two went out on Seventh Year, right?"  
  
"Yes, but we broke it off. We both agreed that neither of us could handle a relationship at that point so, slowly but surely, our 'relationship' grew apart, until we were just friends again, although I'll admit, things have never been the same way between us."  
  
"Harry, I'm not telling you this so you can reminisce. I'm telling you this so that you can get your act together and see what's right in front of you. She loves you Harry! And you love her too."  
  
"You're right. I do love her." Harry leaned against the railing, facing Sirius. "I hate the relationship we have. I mean, I can barely touch her without her tensing up."  
  
"So do something about it." Sirius walked over to the door. "She's not going to wait forever Harry."  
  
Sirius went inside, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts.  
  
My hand won't hold you down no more  
  
The path is clear to follow through  
  
I stood too long in the way of the door  
  
And now I'm giving up on you.  
  
After a brief conversation with her mother, Hermione needed some air and some time alone to think. She slowly made her way up to the roof, where she stood, facing out, and let the wind carry her worries away.  
  
She was giving up, just like she did last time.  
  
Hermione closed her eyes and let her mind travel back to that day in Seventh Year. She couldn't have known that only two floors below her, Harry was remembering the same thing.  
  
"Harry, we need to talk."  
  
The fateful, feared words.  
  
"Umm - sure."  
  
Harry stood up and Hermione shook her head. "Not here. Upstairs." She had warned her dorm mates to steer clear of their room that night. They all agreed.  
  
When the two of them went upstairs, Hermione sat down, but then got up and started pacing. Harry sat down on the bed. "Hermione, what is this about?"  
  
"I- " Hermione sighed and sat down next to him. "This isn't going like I thought it would. I mean - I love you Harry. But - I don't know. I just feel sort of trapped. And I know you feel it too."  
  
Harry sat there in silence.  
  
"Harry, please say something"  
  
Harry sighed. "I love you Hermione. But you're right. But - can we not break this off right away?"  
  
"Of course not! We can take it slow. Let things gradually get back to normal."  
  
Harry nodded. "Okay." He kissed her on the cheek and walked out of the room.  
  
Hermione lay backwards on the bed. "I did the right thing." She told herself. "I'm not holding him back anymore."  
  
'No.' A little voice inside her head told her. 'You're just giving up.'  
  
And here she was, one year later, giving up again.  
  
No, not 'baby' anymore  
  
If I need you I'll just use your simple name  
  
Only kisses on the cheek from now on  
  
And in a little while we'll only have to wave.  
  
Harry walked back into the house, under the watchful eye of Sirius. Harry pulled a smiling Ron to the side. "Have you seen Hermione?"  
  
"Uh..." Ron thought for a second. "Yeah, she, uh, went up to the roof a few minutes ago."  
  
Harry pat Ron on the shoulder, "Thanks," and made his way up the stairs.  
  
Hermione was still standing with her eyes closed. She was so deep in thought that she didn't feel Harry come up behind her. When she felt his arms slip around her waist, she couldn't stop herself from tilting her head upwards and kissing him."  
  
Hermione pulled away abruptly. "I'm sorry. It's just..." Her voice trailed off. She was going to say "It's just been so long," but she stopped herself. It had been so long since she felt his lips against hers, his hands draped casually around her waist. They hardly ever even kissed on the cheek anymore. It was usually a quick, "Hi Harry," and a wave. The jump from that to what she wanted to do with him at that point was irrational, and she barely understood it.  
  
"I know." Harry said, as if reading her thoughts. "Believe me, I know." All of these old feelings were being dredged up again, and Harry could barely understand his own thoughts.  
  
"So."  
  
"What are we doing here, Hermione?"  
  
Hermione sighed. She knew what she wanted to happen. But was it really worth it to try again?  
  
No, not 'baby' anymore  
  
If I need you I'll just use your simple name.  
  
"I don't know Harry. I know what I want to happen. But it's too fast. I don't want to make the same mistake twice."  
  
"You thought we were a mistake?"  
  
"No, no, never." She couldn't bear the look of pain on his face, "I think it's a mistake that we moved so fast. Maybe that's why we didn't work out. We jumped from holding hands to having sex with nothing in between, nothing left to look forward to." Hermione walked up to him. "I want us to be more then just 'Harry and Hermione.' I want us to be just that - 'us.'"  
  
Only kisses on the cheek from now on  
  
"I want us to be together Harry." Hermione brushed her hand over Harry's cheek. "But I want to do things right this time."  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
Hermione leaned up and kissed Harry softly.  
  
"So does this mean that we're back together?"  
  
Hermione smiled. "I suppose so."  
  
And in a little while we'll only have to wave.  
  
Hermione put her arm around Harry and they walked downstairs, holding hands. 


End file.
